Welcome to Diverse City(we 'bout to do this thing fo' real)

Chicago Skyline
Originally uploaded by kickeur77.

Two days until the group embarks on a missions trip to the Windy City. Although I haven't even began packing and don't know every detail of the trip, I feel a sense of peace. If this was any other trip(vacation, etc) I(being an organized freak) would be frantically running around trying to do last minute things and planning my schedule. But missions trip are different. I love the "fear of the unknown" because it gets my adrenaline pumping and causes me to trust God all the more.

Chicago is going to be a completely different trip than many of us have experienced. Several of us have been to Thailand and Mexico where the ministry focused on medical and building, but Chicago will be centered around children ministry and local outreach. I am thrilled to be working with kids and at soup kitchens because this will give me a whole new perspective on another type of ministry I could get into for the future.

Although Chicago is a city of various ethnicities, most of the people will speak english. I guess this would be my one "worry" for the trip. I'm so used to the idea of "actions speak louder than words" due to the language barrier on my previous trips. In this case, I'll be able to communicate with not only my actions but with my words. I know Dave keeps reminding us that "it doesn't matter what you say", but in a way it does. I don't have a way with words most times and want so badly for these people to know who Christ is. I know we can show Christ's love just by our actions, but I have seen how effective words can be with children.

My Prayer for the Trip:
God is going to use our team in an awesome way! He will give us the wisdom and the words to shine the light in this dark city. He will use us to plant the seeds in the hearts of these people. He will change our lives and use this experience to grow closer to Him.

...Zimbabwe

Small Group Party
Originally uploaded by kickeur77.

I couldn't come up with a good title because this post is random. I'm just finishing what Andrew started on his blog(and it's the only part of the song I can remember).

The Small Group Tea Party took place last night at Elaina's house. It was so fun! We received hand massages, tea, and an awesome devotional from Amber and Sandy. It was a really nice wrap-up for the end of the year.

The devotional hit me pretty hard. The theme was true beauty through God's eyes and the purpose of women on this earth. Amber read from this great book that really made me think about why God created women. Sandy said that it's not like women were created as an after thought when everything was done, but as the final element of creation. The book said that we are known as "Ezer Kenegdno" in the Hebrew Bible. This translates to "a sustainer alongside". That really makes me feel special and puts things in a whole new perspective.

This also made me think about beauty and how God sees me. I'm so consumed with how the world sees me. It's very difficult to be content with yourself in a culture that is so focused on appearance. I am always comparing myself to others, not only in appearance, but in the way I act and my personality. I'm always wishing I were prettier or smarter or more funny- continually critquing myself. This world is focused on the idea of approval and I've been sucked into this lie as well.

I need to learn that I am beautiful in God's eyes. He loves me unconditionally and thinks I'm beautiful. When I'm getting down on myself, I'm not appreciating what God has created. I'm telling God that he messed up when he was constructing me. I need to realize that it's okay when I don't receive approval or compliments from people because to God, I'm a true beauty. He loves me for the person I am- inside and out.

Four days until Chicago!! God is going to do awesome things on this trip! Keep praying!

My Future: God's Way

If God revealed our future to us, we would have no reason to continue our relationship with Him. We wouldn't need to rely and grow closer to Him. Our journey towards our future develops our relationship with God, helps us to continue to grow in our faith and learn to the true meaning of surrender. By leaving our future up to God, we can see how powerful He truly is and learn how to trust Him completely. He doesn't leave us in the dark about our future. He guides us through life everyday and slowly reveals His plans according to HIS perfect timing.

I was looking through old papers and journals and found these thoughts that I wrote this past fall on College Tours. When the girls were at "Barbie Night" at Moody, I was really thinking about my future plans: what to study in college, my future career, etc. Afterward, we took a walk through Chicago and one of the girls from the floor came and talked to me about this. It was really nice to talk to someone who was going through the same type of struggles. She told me that she had these same thoughts in high school and is still waiting for God's timing on some issues in her life.

I'm looking at these words now and, oddly enough, am still struggling in this area. I feel God is revealing some parts of my life, but then continuing to hold off on others. I think that not knowing God's plan for certain areas helps me grow more in my walk with Him. This is similar to other relationships in our life. If you knew everything about someone, you probably wouldn't want to spend as much time with that person. It's the idea of pursuit. If there is no mystery, there is nothing more to go after. The more time you spend with the person, the more you get to know them. You will never reach the point where your know EVERYTHING about that person, but you'll be able to understand them better each time you talk to them.

As frustrating as it is to wait, I'm happy that God loves me that much. He wants me to yearn for Him and our relationship. He wants me to learn that I need to let Him be in complete control and surrender my future plans because He knows what it is best for my life. Right now, I'm waiting for God to reveal plans about college, but I know I'll still struggle with His will for my life long after college.

I love when God does show me something and I can look back and see how much I grew through that waiting period. It's incredible to see how God continues to work in my life. I'm excited to think about what He has planned for my future.

PLEASE!!!

To the other three people that read this blog- please read and comment on Ben Sawyer's blog. I don't know how to do that cool link thingy, so just click on his profile from one of his comments. He has a xanga that he uses more, but he still posts on his blogger, too. Please say a quick "hi" because I'm the only one who reads his blog and he needs more friends(just kidding, Ben). THANKS TONS!

My New Friend

I wanted to post something spiritual that I've been thinking about lately, but I don't have time today to write a long post. So...quick post since I haven't posted anything in quite a long time.

We're doing dissections in science right now. I've successfully cut apart a worm and a squid and am now working on a rat. I'll admit that I have grown emotionally attached. My new pal that I've been carefully working on is Miss Regina Marigold. Monday will be the last day that I get to see her yellow-stained hair and beautiful liver.

I've finally finalized my schedule for next year. I was going to take sociology and psychology for my Social Studies credit, but never being able to make decisions until the last minute, I've decided to take on AP Euro. I don't know how well I will do, but I'm up to the challenge. Along with this, I'm taking AP Language, CP Chem, Pre-Calc, Spanish 2, and Band. I have summer homework for my AP classes. YEAH!!(do you sense my sarcasm?)

Busy weekend with graduation, an open house, guitar lessons, and exam preparation-the usual. SUCH IS MY LIFE!